Wives Who Abuse: The Other Side of Spousal Abuse : A Repost of Author Darlene Oakley

Wives Who Abuse: The Other Side of Spousal Abuse

By Darlene Oakley  April 29, 2011 - 2:07pm

As promised, in follow-up to my article on women who are emotionally abused by their husbands, and in light of the comments regarding the fact that it’s not always men who are emotionally abusive, I am posting this article regarding wives who abuse their husbands, not only to provide a resource to abused husbands, but to also to hopefully help wives who abuse recognize the behavior and get help for themselves.

This Article

                                                        Marriage is not about beating someone’s body or soul, whether it be with fists, objects, sex, or words. Marriage is about—or at least it’s supposed to be about—love. Living out the rest of your life with a person you love more than life itself and would give your life for. Most of us would say that about our children. But how many of us struggle with that in our marital relationships.

A World of Opposites

“The U.S. Office on Violence against Women (OVW) defines domestic violence as a ‘pattern of abusive behavior in any relationship that is used by one partner to gain or maintain power and control over another intimate partner’.” (Wikipedia) Obviously this definition is put forward by a women’s organization, but it applies to men equally.

It’s extremely difficult, perhaps even more difficult, for a man to admit to himself and to those around him that he is being abused at home. More difficult because society’s view of men is that they need to be in control of their situation and that it’s not really abuse. It’s just that the man is being a wimp and letting a strong-willed woman walk all over him—either physically or emotionally. Men may not be believed when they report it to police or a counselor or pastor. They may just be told to stand up and take it like a man.

Unfortunately, the damage done to the psyche of these men can be just as bad as what this kind of advice does to a woman under the same conditions. It’s time to stop the double standard. It is not okay for a man to abuse a woman. That is not what marriage is about, and certainly not a part of the covenant that was signed on the wedding day. It is also equally not okay for a woman to abuse her husband.

That is also not what marriage is about and not part of the marital covenant.

A Woman’s Way

Just because women are physically smaller and not as strong in the torso as men, doesn’t mean they can’t get physical or physically hurt a man. They may also, as a means of getting the “upper hand” in a situation where they’re physically out matched, use a weapon—chairs, lamps, pans, vehicles. They can bite, pull hair, throw a kick to the groin, or stomp on toes. A woman’s physical strength is in her hips so many may take advantage of this.

This behavior goes beyond being bossy, difficult, moody, hormonal and strong-willed. And in the vast majority of situations, the wife’s actions are not in self-defense. In fact, a 1988 survey found that in 42-45% of respondent cases, the wife hit first.

A wife may verbally or physically attack her husband as a way of expressing anger, retaliating for emotional hurt, expressing feelings that they had difficulty communicating verbally, and gaining control over the other person (Hines & Malley-Morrison).

But in many cases, the abuse is a symptom of an emotional/mental condition (borderline personality disorder, histrionic personality disorder, narcissistic personality disorder), probably as a result of abuse in her background.

Dr. Tara Palmatier, PsyD, a clinical psychologist, gives this warning for men:

“Men … [i]f you walk on eggshells around your partner because you’re afraid she’ll flip out on you for minor transgressions or simply because she’s in a bad mood, you’re experiencing emotional abuse. If nothing you do, no matter how hard you try pleases her, you’re experiencing emotional abuse. If she regularly puts you down, criticizes or demeans you through name-calling and humiliation, you’re experiencing emotional abuse. If she shuts you out, gives you the cold shoulder or refuses to have sex with you in order to control your behavior, you’re experiencing emotional abuse. There is no shame in admitting this … it’s your wife or girlfriend who ought to be ashamed.

“Emotional abuse is like a cancer that eats away at your psyche until you’re left feeling powerless, worthless, anxious and/or depressed. Most of the time it happens so gradually that you don’t notice it … She’s not abusive all the time. Sometimes she’s nice. Now and again, she’ll even make a grand loving gesture and you convince yourself that the relationship isn’t that bad. Abusive personality types frequently have a very charismatic and seductive side. If she was all bad all the time, you’d have never become involved with her, right? Their charming side is how they suck people in. Over time, the charm wears thin and their abusive traits dominate.

“You can’t fix this. You can’t make her stop. You can’t make your relationship better … you won’t be able to change her behavior … [I]t is highly unlikely that [she] will see her behavior as abusive.”

If you—either husband or wife—is reading the below checklist from Dr. Tara and realize emotional abuse has infiltrated and infected your marriage, you need to get help for yourself, foremost, and, if possible, your spousal abuser:

• "Are you spending more and more time at work because you don’t want to go home?
• Have you dropped out of touch with friends and family? When you communicate periodically, do you smile and tell them everything’s great as you feel the knot in your stomach tighten and the lump in your throat harden?
• Do you always feel like you’re waiting for the other shoe to drop?
• Have you withdrawn from life while retreating into alternate realities, e.g., books, films or the Internet?
• Are you experiencing feelings of shame, worthlessness, low self-esteem or emotional numbness?
• Are you experiencing physical symptoms like chronic stomach pain, nausea, headaches, digestive problems, insomnia or fatigue that your doctor can’t diagnose beyond 'may be stress-related'?
• Are you drinking more or using recreational drugs more than you used to? Are you using them to escape from or numb yourself to the unhappiness of your situation?
• Do you feel unlovable? Like something’s 'wrong' with you or that you’re 'bad' or 'crazy'?

Do you worry that if you left your partner that no one else would want you?

Do you experience symptoms of depression, including thoughts of suicide?

This Articl

• Do you
• Do you engage in risky behaviors in which your death would be considered 'accidental' like reckless driving, riding your bike along through rough terrain, going into dangerous neighborhoods, or walking into traffic without looking?

(**Note: If you are a wife reading this and you recognize any of the above or the following traits in yourself and in your relationship with your husband—or he has tried to talk to you about your behavior in the past—please seek counseling right away. This is not only affecting your husband, but also your children. It is NEVER okay to abuse another person. You are killing their spirit and their body. That is not what “love” is.)

Sources: Wikipedia (http://en.wikipedia.org – again, used for basic definition purposes); Men’s Rights Agency - American Television Programme on Men as Victims of Domestic Violence (ABC Television 20/20 21st September 1997, “Men Battered by their wives”) (http://www.mensrights.com.au/dvusa13g.htm); “Psychological Effects of Partner Abuse Against Men: A Neglected Research Area” by Denise A. Hines and Kathleen Malley-Morrison, Boston University (Psychology of Men & Masculinity 2001, Vol. 2, No. 2, p. 75-85; http://www.fact.on.ca/Info/dom/hines01.htm); "When Love Hurts: The Emotionally Abused Man" by Dr. Tara Palmatier, PsyD (http://shrink4men.wordpress.com/2009/01/23/when-love-hurts-the-emotional...)

Comments on the article:

Anonymous

Women have been abusing men for years. I went through one of the most horrific periods in my life when my ex wife used the Family Court system to terrorize me and destroy my life almost entirely. Emotional abuse is much worse than physical abuse. The average male has no chance of protection in the family court system. I spent 2 and 1/2 years recovering enough so I could begin to live some kind of life.
This type of article is long overdue and there needs to be more on this subject.

May 15, 2011 - 7:05am

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Darlene Oakley  (reply to Anonymous)

Thank you for sharing your story. You're right it is long overdue and I hope that others that read this article who need help will take advantage of the information and resources I've listed at the end of the article. Obviously it's not an exhaustive list, but it's a start.

May 16, 2011 - 6:58am

• Tags:
• Mental Health
• Domestic Abuse
• Sex & Relationships

Emotional Health

Something to Think About

A woman baked bread for members of her family and an extra one for a hungry passerby.
She kept the extra bread on the Window-sill, for whosoever would take it away.
Everyday, a hunch-back came and took away the bread. Instead of expressing gratitude, he muttered the following words as he went his way:
"The evil you do remains with you: The good you do, comes back to you!"

This went on, day after day. Everyday, the hunch-back came, picked up the bread and uttered
the words: "The evil you do, remains with you: The good you do, comes back to you!"

The woman felt irritated. "Not a word of gratitude," she said to herself...
"Everyday this hunch-back utters this jingle! What does he mean?

"One day, out of desperation, she decided to do away with him. "I shall get rid of this hunch-back," she said.  And what did she do? She added poison to the breads she prepared for him! As she was about to put it on the window sill, her hands trembled. "What is this I am doing?" she said.
Immediately she threw the bread into the fire, prepared another one and kept it on the window-sill.
As usual, the hunch-back came, picked up the bread and muttered the words:
"The evil you do remains with you: The good you do, comes back to you!"

The hunch-back proceeded on his way, blissfully unaware of the war raging in the mind of the woman. Everyday, as the woman placed the bread on the window-sill, she offered a prayer for her son who had gone to a distant place to seek his fortune. For many months, she had no news of him.. She prayed for his safe return.

That evening, there was a knock on the door. As she opened it, she was surprised to find her son standing in the doorway.. He had grown thin and lean. His garments were tattered and torn.
He was hungry, starved and weak. As he saw his mother, he said, "Mom, it's a miracle I'm here.
While I was but a mile away, I was so hungry that I collapsed. I would have died, but just then an old hunch-back passed by. I begged of him for a small part of his food, and he was kind enough to give me whole bread. "As he gave it to me, he said, "This is what I eat everyday: today, I shall give it to you, for your need is greater than mine!"
 "As the mother heard those words, her face turned pale and red. She leaned against the door for support. She remembered the poisoned bread that she had made that morning. Had she not burnt it in the fire, it would have been eaten by her own son, and he would have lost his life!
 It was then that she realized the significance of the words: "The evil you do remains with you:
 The good you do, comes back to you!" 
If you like this, share it with others and I bet you, so many lives would be affected.
Have a wonderful day
Author Unkown.

"The Power of God Inside of Us"

Let us all take a moment to seriously consider how good God is, that while we are yet sinners and fall short of the Glory of God- He continues to love us, protect us, guide us, heal us, teach us and never forsake us.

John 17

 1These words spake Jesus, and lifted up his eyes to heaven, and said, Father, the hour is come; glorify thy Son, that thy Son also may glorify thee:
Jesus knew the Passion was immediately ahead yet He called upon God to see this thing through that through the humiliation of the struggle and the Resurrection to follow the power of God would be re-established.    Remember that in Book of Exodus, God says that He raised up Pharaoh to destroy him and thereby establish His own power throughout the Generations.     God used Moses to redeem the natural Children of Israel and God used Jesus to redeem the Spiritual Children of Israel.
There are times when we must experience some rough seas of our lives that God can use us to establish His power and faithfulness to others in our lives.     God uses His Servants and Hand Maidens to establish who He is to Unbelievers in our lives or perhaps Believers who are younger in their walk.
 2As thou hast given him power over all flesh, that he should give eternal life to as many as thou hast given him.  3And this is life eternal, that they might know thee the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom thou hast sent.

God is in Charge however Jesus has been given all Authority by God. You see it is not about Jesus but rather about God the Father who sent Him to us.    Jesus is honoring His Father and establishing that we should too.  Notice also the mention of eternal Life...in the beginning was the Garden of Eden. Isa 55:11” My Word will not come back to me void, but will accomplish what I set out for it to do”…Adam was to be immortal, Jesus is Immortal and those of us who choose to really walk with Him will be Immortal.  

Jesus specifies that His mission in the Natural realm was ordained by God the father in the Spirit realm (Verse.3)

 4I have glorified thee on the earth: I have finished the work which thou gavest me to do.  5And now, O Father, glorify thou me with thine own self with the glory which I had with thee before the world was.

Jesus always respected His ‘Family name’ while on earth Does your behaviour, dress code and mannerisms show respect for the God your claim to serve? 

 Jesus was always about His Father’s business. He did not hang out, waste time, money or resources.

He did not get caught up with ‘Stuff’ and Possessions...how about you?    Are you being responsible and a good steward of your resources?

 6I have manifested thy name unto the men which thou gavest me out of the world: thine they were, and thou gavest them me; and they have kept thy word.  7Now they have known that all things whatsoever thou hast given me are of thee.  8For I have given unto them the words which thou gavest me; and they have received them, and have known surely that I came out from thee, and they have believed that thou didst send me.

Wow! Jesus spoke to the Disciples and the people who came to hear Him and to experience His presence.

Notice what is said…’thou gavest them me’. In the Book of Genesis God tells Abraham “I am your exceedingly great reward” God was prophesying that He would send Himself into the world to be received as a free gift for those who choose to receive the Gift. And His “Shikana Glory” is God’s reward for those who faithfully walk with Him.

Jesus spoke what God sent Him to speak and the Disciples received the information and the training. People receive prophesies of money and wealth however they rebuke teacher of Truth- because truth is not always about “stuff” but more times than not it is training to encourage us to tighten up our Spiritual walk and most people don’t desire to receive that…how about you? What is your attitude in reference to improving your Walk with God?

9I pray for them: I pray not for the world, but for them which thou hast given me; for they are thine. 10And all mine are thine, and thine are mine; and I am glorified in them.  11And now I am no more in the world, but these are in the world, and I come to thee. Holy Father, keep through thine own name those whom thou hast given me, that they may be one, as we are. 12While I was with them in the world, I kept them in thy name: those that thou gavest me I have kept and none of them is lost, but the son of perdition; that the scripture might be fulfilled. 13And now come I to thee; and these things I speak in the world, that they might have my joy fulfilled in themselves.

Jesus did not pray for Unbelievers and skeptics. Remember 2 Corinthians 6: 14-18…”the Uneven Yoke”? Read Romans 1 where God specifies that he turns people over to their ‘reprobate minds’

Verse 10…what belongs to God belongs to Jesus and what belongs to Jesus belongs to God. However to belong to Jesus you must be about His Word…because it is written “If you Love me you will obey me”

Verse 11---this relationship makes us ONE WITH GOD. We become extensions of God through the Study and Application of the word of God.

Verse 12…God has given us to Jesus

Romans 8; 27-30

 27And he that searcheth the hearts knoweth what is the mind of the Spirit, because he maketh intercession for the saints according to the will of God.
 28And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.
 29For whom he did foreknow, he also did predestinate to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brethren.
 30Moreover whom he did predestinate, them he also called: and whom he called, them he also justified: and whom he justified, them he also glorified.
 31What shall we then say to these things? If God be for us, who can be against us?
 32He that spared not his own Son, but delivered him up for us all, how shall he not with him also freely give us all things?

Verse 12 Jesus keeps us…”He is the Author and the Finisher of our Faith”

Verse 13 He prayed before He left…He prayed an “Intercessory Prayer”.

 14I have given them thy word; and the world hath hated them, because they are not of the world, even as I am not of the world. 15I pray not that thou shouldest take them out of the world, but that thou shouldest keep them from the evil. 16They are not of the world, even as I am not of the world.
The World despises those who are about doing the right thing. Mediocrity hates success and we are not now nor ever really have been “of the World”.

17Sanctify them through thy truth: thy word is truth. 18As thou hast sent me into the world, even so have I also sent them into the world. 19And for their sakes I sanctify myself, that they also might be sanctified through the truth. 20Neither pray I for these alone, but for them also which shall believe on me through their word

We are sanctified through the Word of God. Further we are obligated to speak about the Kingdom and its influence not through your mouth as much as through the POWER OF YOUR WALK! Jesus sanctified Himself….we are one with Him ---hence He also sanctifies us. Finally check that He prayed for you…..see verse 20? “which shall believe on me through their Word”!
 21That they all may be one; as thou, Father, art in me, and I in thee, that they also may be one in us: that the world may believe that thou hast sent me.  22And the glory which thou gavest me I have given them; that they may be one, even as we are one:  23I in them, and thou in me, that they may be made perfect in one; and that the world may know that thou hast sent me, and hast loved them, as thou hast loved me.
Verse 21 speaks specifically that when you learn the Bible, understand its operations and apply it too your life you become one with God  V 22-23 give specifics
 24 Father, I will that they also, whom thou hast given me, be with me where I am; that they may behold my glory, which thou hast given me: for thou lovedst me before the foundation of the world. 25 O righteous Father, the world hath not known thee: but I have known thee, and these have known that thou hast sent me.  26 And I have declared unto them thy name, and will declare it: that the love wherewith thou hast loved me may be in them, and I in them.

Walking with God brings a peace, confidence sense of purpose and direction, change in personality, habits, character, vision, priorities and so much more. This is because God lives in us, we become one with His power and His Super combines with our natural and we become SUPERNATURAL!

"The Reality of Sunday Worship" By Rev. Richard Johnson, B.Sc.

"The Reality of Sunday Worship"
By Richard Johnson (Copyright 2011)
The truth is that the Scriptural Sabbath is still Saturday---it always has been. Why we worship on Sunday is explained here:

What the majority does not know is that the Catholic Church would love to have a Sunday law because of the fact that:
“Q: Which is the Sabbath day?
A: Saturday is the Sabbath Day.
Q: Why do we observe Sunday instead of Saturday?
A: We observe Sunday instead of Saturday, because the Catholic Church, in the Council of Laodicea (AD 336), transferred the solemnity from Saturday to Sunday.” – Rev. Peter Geiermann, C.Ss.R., The Convert’s Catechism of Catholic Doctrine, p. 50.
“Q: Have you any other way of proving that the Church has power to institute festivals of precept?
A: Had she not the power; she could not have done that in which all modern religionists agree with her;-she could not have substituted the observance of Sunday the first day of the week, for the observance of Saturday the seventh day, a change for which there is no Scriptural authority.” – Rev. Stephen Keenan, A Doctrinal Catechism, p. 174
“Of course the Catholic Church claims that the change(Saturday to Sunday) is her act; it could not have been otherwise, as none in those days would have dreamed of doing anything in matters spiritual or religious without her, and the act is a mark of her ecclesiastical power and authority in religious matters.” – Catholic Mirror, September 23, 1893.

When the Protestant Reformation occured during the middle ages...the breakaway denominations took the TRADITION OF SUNDAY WORSHIP WITH THEM from the Catholic Church...there is no Scripture for Sunday worship. It is now codefied into Western Laws in Europe, Britain and the United States as well as their former colonies accross the Globe that worship God according to the Bible.

Just because something is codefied into law and followed by the Churches does not make it Scripture.

Be blessed and may God's face shine upon you always.

IS THERE A NEW MEANING FOR EVIL?

by Colajean Butler on Tuesday, February 15, 2011 at 11:42pm

Posted here with the permission of the Author.

Is there a new meaning for the word, evil?  We used to think of 'evil' as something to be feared.  It was something ugly.  I am wondering and tried to come up with an answer to this question.   There must be a new definition for evil today.  Even though God said that He was the same today as He was at the time of Creation and His Word never changes, somehow in history the meaning for 'wrong' and 'evil' must have changed.

Evil today can be the most beautiful and not at all threatening situation, but we innately should recognize evil.  It is something wrong!

When we introduced the terms morality and conscience when d  ealing with the term evil, we seem to have made 'evil' a term that is relative to circumstances.

Here are a few examples of the new morality.

(1)  A  lie is not longer a  lie when we don't want to hurt someone's feelings.
(2) '  Stealing is not 'stealing' when we take something from someone when we need it badly.  
(3)  Having 'sex' with someone we are not married to is not wrong when 'no body is going to get hurt.'
(4) Cheating on a test is not wrong because if I fail the test, I could lose my scholarship.
(5) It is better for me to have an abortion because the father of child and I are no longer 'seeing' each other.

We are in such a delimna today that we live 'lies' and we live these lies for decades and seem to feel no remorse.  We can tell a lie on someone and have hordes of relatives not speaking to a person, and feel no guilt.  Since we have 'what we want' and everybody seems to like and accept us, we don't care if we have caused great pain for another by out lies.  Relatives have died not fully understanding the gravity of the lie or that we have even lied to them.

The evil in our midst have broken many people.  This evil has devastated persons who try to do good and feel overwhelmed by the 'wrong' around them.   Just looking at the headlines in our local papers would almost cause us to grieve, but we bow our heads in prayer for our people instead.  Persons whom we trust are now raping our children.  Persons whom we trust are robbing us.  Persons whom we trust are  not protecting the legacy of our country's sovereignty.  The list goes on!

Is there a new meaning of evil?  No, there is no new meaning of evil.  Evil is still evil. The problem lies within us.  We have become intimate friends with evil and have regarded evil as something that we can 'deal' with.  Most of us have 'accepted' evil as a choice and as a 'friend' to help us get what we want without the hassle of sacrafice and hard work.

 Evil is when we choose to live by our own standards and not by the standards set by our Lord that honors and respects the rights of others.  We are evil when we do not love our neighbor as we love our ourselves. 

So as I draw my post to a close, I pray the words taught to us by our Lord.  "Deliver us from evil - now and at the hour or our death."
___________________________________________________________________________
The Author can be found on Facebook.

Rev. Richard Johnson, B.Sc. "Mission Statement"

Having accepted Christ as my Lord and Savior in February, 1986, but lacking a true Teacher of the Word and an understanding of my Divine Purpose; God used approximately seventeen years to train me, teach me and bring me to a point of absolute commitment of my will and focus to Him. He had already shown me my purpose in 1998; however additional time was required to set everything within me, my mind, my spirit and my heart on a solo mission of destiny. It required special experiences, he creation of an enduring mind heart and spirit such that when the time came to be baptized in the Spirit of the Lord---there would be but one concept of journey and that is forward ever and backward never....combined with no retreat and no surrender.

Walking in the Spirit according to Galatians 5:16 to end and Romans 8 in its entirety combined with the seven Spirits of God as revealed in Isaiah 11:2; operating with faith, absolute obedience to the Spirit over Church and submission to God's ultimate authority ---I am trained to be a spiritual Warrior and teach the Kung Fu of the Spirit Realm.

My personal mission statement is as follows:

-to stand upright before God to the best of my ability

-to be a Spiritual Warrior taking the campaign into the enemy territory i.e. to hit the streets exhorting and encouraging men to get up and leave the life of crime and bondage to the old man with  the chemicals and downpression because God has a better life for them via Scriptures and Christ Jesus.

-to engage in the education of the people that are seeking God’s face and power , however will not engage in the religious diatribe of today. These people are seeking their spiritual walk with God as opposed to the common religious fantasy of this era.

-to educate as to the reality and application of Scripture ---avoiding doctrine, dogma and denomination.

-to be an inspiration to the outcast elements that God raises up the periphery to confuse the center, He makes the lowly great to establish that He is the true God of Creation and all you need is Him via Covenant Walk through Jesus Christ.

-to eventually establish a "Men's Bridge Ministry" to teach life and business skillsets combined with Spiritual Kung Fu.

-to go where He instructs me to go and do what He instructs me to do.

 To accomplish this in their lives, these men must be taught-not religion but rather, the spiritual walk with God in and through Jesus Christ.

-They must become firmly entrenched in the knowledge and specific application of Scripture as it applies to addiction, anger management and mindset issues.

-Those that choose to walk away and battle out from "Egypt" (bondage) will require time and a facility to be housed within such that they can be taught:

·        The discipline of quiet and determined leadership.

·        The reality of separation from anybody and anything that may hamper their progress must become solidly entrenched to prevent the mind or heart from being infected with 'defeatism' from without as we teach them victory from within.

·        All of these aforementioned pointers delve from Romans 12:2 “Romans 12:2 (Amplified Bible) ²Do not be conformed to this world (this age), [fashioned after and adapted to its external, superficial customs], but be transformed (changed) by the [entire] renewal of your mind [by its new ideals and its new attitude], so that you may prove [for yourselves] what is the good and acceptable and perfect will of God, even the thing which is good and acceptable and perfect [in His sight for you].

·        They must establish a new family (Church) and a new way of thinking (Scripture/Bible)

Once again, God is still in the miracle business for men and women. But to experience His power you must let go of everything about you including your old personality and character. Either we turn it all in for new items or we hold ourselves back by our old ways, there is no other way. It is for this reason that many have been in the Church building for years and not experienced the life altering events they are told about and scream about.

We must teach the men for it is written that the father is the glory of the child (Proverbs). When we raise up a man from the ashes of a life it positively impacts a multitude of other men and their children because the youth see that victory is possible after setbacks and there is life after death…so keep struggling for life and victory despite the setbacks and defeats. Remember that you are only truly defeated when you quit fighting to achieve despite setbacks,

I teach warfare to others, to be a light and guide through the Wilderness as they (the Students) progress towards true freedom-walking in the Spirit…via Scripture and Jesus Christ.

5 things that keep you from settling down

 

Disney movies bring us romantic tales of glass slippers and coma-reviving kisses. Hollywood shows us we’ll be so overwhelmed we won’t be able to resist it. Our friends say, “When it’s right, you’ll just know.” And yet, years into a relationship, many men and women haven’t a clue whether they are dating the person they should make their spouse... or just another great someone.

For many of us, falling in love — and deciding that yes, this time it’s meant to last forever — is not as easy as it seems.

It’s easy to get stuck in relationship limbo...
“I always thought I’d have this magical moment where I would meet someone and there’d be this instant clicking and we would literally be married six months later,” says Katja, a D.C.-based program manager for the Department of State while referring to her long-term boyfriend, Rob. “I never, ever thought I’d be the girl that was dating the guy for six years and going nowhere,” she admits.

It’s not that there’s a lot wrong with Rob. Quite the opposite, in fact. “He’s the person I’ve been waiting to meet forever,” Katja says. “We have tons in common; I’ve never gotten bored of him.” And yet, Katja remains seriously into her boyfriend, but maybe not enough to marry him.

So, what keeps so many seemingly smart men and women from deciding that the person they’re with is The One?

1. Your list of “must-haves” for a romantic partner is unattainable
One of the biggest sticking points for people, says counseling psychologist Dr. Linda Young, is having a long list of characteristics that are considered essential for both a partner and the relationship. This lengthy list of essentials can be self-defeating, since it’s unlikely you’ll meet anyone who meets every requirement on that list.

“People have a lot of difficulty accepting a person or a relationship that is good enough,” says Young. By good enough, Young does not mean settling. She means recognizing someone who shares your values and characteristics.

After spending all our 20s and parts of our 30s hearing, “I can have it all!” we can’t help but believe that means the whole pie, perfection à la mode, no compromising. Few potential mates, it seems, can measure up to such standards. Or, more succinctly, a lot of people have become too picky, and too picky has become the standard.

“We expect so much from ourselves at work; we expect a lot from ourselves even recreationally,” says Young. “We rank and rate everything, especially since the Internet has become the norm — and we rank partners, even — without realizing that something can be good enough without being 95 percent of what we want.”

2. You’re unwilling to compromise in relationships
Many of us don’t focus hard enough (or long enough) on what makes a relationship truly satisfying and sustainable over a lifetime. Being more forgiving of a partner’s faults or more flexible about another person’s annoying habits may be difficult, but the ability to compromise matters. Instead, many of us are looking to wherever the grass appears to be greener.

Love, it seems, has torn a page out of the economics textbook. It’s a classic case of maximizers versus satisfiers. Maximizers are always looking for the newest and best thing available. If, one thinks, I stop looking for the best possible option, if I accept this person’s flaws, I won’t have the best partner I could possibly have.

Those are the people who might have trouble committing to anything, says Young, “whether it’s a house, a stereo or a person, because they are constantly looking for ways to tweak it — to make it better.”

On the other hand, the satisfier is someone who recognizes the things that make something — or someone — great, and doesn’t keep looking for something bigger or better.

3. You’re afraid of intimacy
The other challenge for many may be in letting another person in. After spending much of our 20s and early 30s building a career, honoring the idea that it’s important to be successful and dating with the knowledge that most relationships will end, we build up a defense mechanism. When we finally decide we do want to settle down, we have to take down the walls we’ve built up. “One of the ways we protect ourselves is to learn how to not go all in, and then when you want to get married you have to figure out how to go all in,” says Young.

Take, for example, Katja and Rob. Both are incredibly independent people, Katja most of all. That love of independence might be hindering their progression as a couple. “It gets in the way of my relationships sometimes,” Katja says, a twinge of regret cutting through her laugh.

And all that independence can lead to some serious indecision, which is something Laurel from Seattle, WA, knows a thing or two about. Seven years into her relationship, she wondered if her boyfriend was husband material. So, how did Laurel decide that he was The One?

“I spent some time imagining my life without him,” says Laurel, “and I didn’t like it one bit.” Now, eight years into her marriage, the 42-year-old and her husband are trying for a second child.

Deciding you’d rather be with someone than without is a good, realistic place to start. It’s also important to figure out what the few, really critical criteria are in choosing a potential mate — such as religion or a shared culture. In the end, it’s values that matter, not attributes.

4. You pick partners that share your interests, but not your values and goals
Young admits she’s fascinated by online dating profiles, where many people list “important traits” that are actually things they themselves prefer to do: “Must like hiking. Must enjoy ska music. Must love long walks on the beach at sunset.” Young points out that “those things are not very important when it comes down to a long-term, satisfying relationship. The really important stuff is how your basic character traits and personality features complement each other, and where you are similar on the things that matter most to you. You really need to know what your values are before you can know if someone else shares them.”

Shared fundamental values — from the way you express affection, to religion, to how you handle responsibility or are accountable to others — are the most important criteria.

People tend to discount how much these values matter, argues Young. Daters say that honesty is important, but then other things they want — not value, but want — get in the way of making good decisions. If you’re single and you find someone charming, confident and successful, then suddenly the characteristics that make a relationship work come in a distant second.

And, she says, don’t dismiss physical chemistry if you’re looking for the Americanized version of love, which includes a lifetime of romance. Yes, physical attraction can grow over time, but if you have none to begin with it’s not going to manifest itself over time. You can’t construct something out of nothing.

5. You believe there’s only one soul mate out there waiting for you
“I think some people still have this fantasy notion that there’s going to be just one Mr. or Ms. Right. So when they have someone they’ve been with who displays many of these characteristics and they get along just fine together, these daters still think, ‘well, it doesn’t feel magical, like having a soul mate is supposed to feel’,” says Young. “It’s not always going to feel that way.”

But, she argues, by taking a good look at your own place in the world and your values, you can recognize whether you’re dating the person you’re going to stay with long-term — or simply dating around.

Julie H. Case is a freelance writer based in Seattle. Her work has appeared in magazines such as Sunset, Alaska Airlines Magazine and Wired.

Women in Christ's Genealogy (1)

Women in Christ's Genealogy

Matthew included five women in his genealogy of Christ. This is notable since it was not customary for Jews to include women in their records.
   Even more remarkable is the fact that Matthew included some women who had disreputable histories. The five women included were: Tamar, Rahab, Ruth, Bathsheba, and Mary.

Tamar: Genesis 38:6-30
Tamar was the daughter-in-law of Judah. She was a childless widow, who was given to her brother-in-law after her husband's death. By this marriage her offspring would continue the name and inheritance of the deceased. Such a union was later called a Leverite marriage (Deut 25:5-6).
   Unfortunately, Tamar's brother-in-law refused to have proper intercourse with her. God killed him for this. Afterwards, Judah would not give Tamar to any of his other sons. So Tamar disguised herself as a harlot and seduced Judah. (My notes: Tamar had relations with her father in law illegally/immorally as a prostitute). Through him, she became the mother of Perez.

Rahab: Joshua 2:1-24
Rahab was a harlot who lived in Jericho. (My Notes: She was a town prostitute). She hid the spies of Joshua. Because of this, the Israelites spared her life when they conquered Jericho. She later became the wife of Salmon, and the mother of Boaz. Rahab's faith was later commended (Heb 11:30-31).

Ruth: Ruth 1:1-4:22
Ruth was a foreigner from the land of Moab. (My Notes: the Moabites were the offspring of Lot, nephew of Abraham, via drunken incest >>>see:Genesis 19:35-37 (New King James Version) ³⁵ Then they made their father drink wine that night also. And the younger arose and lay with him, and he did not know when she lay down or when she arose. ³⁶ Thus both the daughters of Lot were with child by their father. ³⁷ The firstborn bore a son and called his name Moab; he is the father of the Moabites to this day.) She was the widow of a Jew. Her mother-in-law, Naomi, also lived in Moab. Naomi journeyed to Israel after her family died. Ruth's devotion was extraordinary. She left her own country to follow Naomi. While in Israel, Ruth was married to Boaz, one of Naomi's relatives. Ruth later became the mother of Obed, the grandfather of David the King.

Bathsheba: 2 Samuel 11:1-27

Bathsheba was the wife of Uriah the Hittite, who was a soldier in the army of King David. She and David had an adulterous affair. (My Notes: was Bethsheba a Hebrew or a Hittite?)   When David discovered Bathsheba was pregnant, he tried to cover it up by summoning Uriah home from war, hoping that Uriah would have intercourse with his wife. Uriah came home to Jerusalem, but refused to lay with Bathsheba as long as the armies of Israel were at war.
   So, David sent Uriah back into battle, with orders that Uriah should be withdrawn from when the fighting became fierce. After Uriah was slain in this manner, David took Bathsheba as his own wife. God punished them for this by killing their first child.
   Bathsheba later became the mother of Solomon.

Mary: Matthew 1:18-25, Luke 1:26-56
Mary was the mother of Jesus and the wife of Joseph. She was a virgin when Jesus was conceived by the Holy Spirit.
   Joseph was betrothed to Mary when he discovered she was pregnant. He intended to put her away secretly because this was shameful. However, an angel told Joseph what had happened. So Joseph took Mary as his wife, and kept her as a virgin until she gave birth to Jesus.
   During her pregnancy Mary spent time with her relative Elizabeth, who was the mother of John the Baptist (Luke 1:39-56). Mary was not a perpetual virgin, as she later became the mother of other sons and daughters (Matthew 13:55-56).
   Mary was a widow at the time of Jesus' death. While on the cross, Jesus committed her to the care of John, his Apostle (John 19:25-27).

Source: LifeofJesus.com

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So, we clearly see that God has been choosing the outcasts of society for great things in His Kingdom purpose. Do not look down upon yourself because of bad choices you have made. God knew you from Genensis 1:1. He is not looking at your shortcomings, rather He is looking at your potential and He seeks not your surrender. He is not at war with you and you are not at war with Him---unless you are simply being rebrobate. We all come from to God from somewhere wicked. God seeks your dedication to Him via Scripture and Covenant walk with Him. This you can do without the acclimation of a Church , Preist, Rabbi, Pastor or any human being because Christ died to reconcile your Father back to you.

Get in step with what your Creator has already said---he will choose the broken and downtrodden to build them up and make a mighty testimony of your life to show others that there are no impossibilities in God/Christ/ The Spirit of God. Disregard what the "Righteous" may be saying to you. "If God be for you who can be against you?" Romans 8

Be blessed.

What The Church is Not Telling You (1)

The Curse of JehoiakimAn unusual curse in Jeremiah 36:1-32 gives new insight into the virgin birth of Jesus.
The CurseJehoiakim was a king of Israel. He angered God by burning a scroll that Jeremiah the prophet wrote. God cursed Jehoiakim by indicating that none of his children would sit on the throne of David (Jeremiah 36:29-31). And although Jehoiakim had children, scripture shows that none of them ever reigned as King David had.
The ProblemJoseph, the father of Jesus, was one of Jehoiakim's descendants (through Jeconiah). Joseph's offspring could not claim David's throne because of the curse. Jesus laid claim to the throne of David (Luke 1:32, Acts 2:30, Hebrews 12:2). If Jesus had been born of Joseph, the curse would have been contradicted.
   Also, God had promised David that one of his physical descendants would reign on the throne of his kingdom forever (2 Samuel 7:12-13). As explained above, Joseph was excluded from being the genetic father of the future king of Israel.
   It was impossible to fulfill the requirements of both curse and promise by natural means. One man had to be both heir to and offspring of David, without being the genetic descendant of Jehoiakim. This problem required a divine solution.
The SolutionGod created a solution through the miracle of the virgin birth. Although Joseph was one of Jehoiakim's offspring (through Solomon), Mary was not. She was a descendant of Nathan, one of David's other sons (Luke 3:31). God's promise to David was fulfilled because Mary was the biological parent of Jesus.
   The virgin birth also addressed the curse God had pronounced upon Jehoiakim. Kingship was an inherited right. By Joseph, Jesus inherited a legal claim to the throne of David. However, he was exempt from the curse of Jehoiakim because Joseph was not his genetic father.
   So the miracle of the virgin birth accomplished God's will in two ways. First, it granted Jesus a legal claim to the throne of David. And second, it maintained th eintegrity of the curse God had pronounced upon Jehoiakim. Indeed, Jesus was not one of Jehoiakim's offspring.

Source: LifeofChrist.com 

Is the Black Church Keeping Women Single? (Copyright 2011)

This man's answer to this question is "No."  There are a wide variety of reasons to this 'phenomena' but the Church is not making a conscious effort to keep people single. Here are a few thoughts to consider: 

(1) by the time some women decide to get focused on "getting it together" via Biblical Power Point Principles: they already have a number of children and are not married. This presents a situation of financial responsibility that many men are not prepared to get involved with because of custody issues and the fathers of children creating "hassles" within these types of relationships. This is not the fault of men rather a consequence of the choices and decisions of the women having been in relationships that created the children without getting married first. A divorced woman demonstrates a diferent social parameter than an unmarried mother. This is just the reality of our social construct.

It is unreasonable to expect the average man who is focused on a future to not weigh into the calculations of the validity of a relationship - the effects of the presence of these children will have. Another byproduct of "premarital" children is the money to raise the children of another man or men and the impact of children not accepting a "new" man into their Mother's life and their life.

(2)The presence of Black men "on the Down low". Need I say more? This is an issue that really does need to be addressed from the Pulpit, in Bible Study and within the Church in general; not from a position of animosity or hatred. This must be addressed from "what does Scripture say about this behavior". For too long, the Church has been a place of accepting any type of behavior as okay with God so long as it is accepted by the ambient social order. The Church is a place of change---our changing into God's reality of His children; not our telling God to accept us as we choose to be.

If a man desires to walk with God...he must make the relevant changes and it is entirely irresponsible for somebody that is still interested in same sex arrangements to get involved with a woman (or a man if we are referencing a Lesbian/Bisexal individual). Remember, I am speaking here as a Man of God and Scripture clearly takes a dim view of same sex arrangments. Whatever a person chooses is between them and God, however to get into relationship with somebody and not be honest about your sexual behavior is simply uncouth and boorish. And the Church is about God not what is currently socially acceptable. You cannot ask God to put a stamp of approval upon behavior that is deemed as sinful by Scripture.

 

(3)The attitude of Black women to want to be the leader in a family...although the Bible clearly teaches that "as Christ is head of the Church man is head of the House". Our Women have a propensity to fear "submission " to a man as leader of the home. They pledge loyalty to Jesus but not loyalty to a Husband. People in general ( male and female) come to Church but keep their old attitudes and personalities----the Bible teaches that to get your life you must lose it....Blind Bartemeaus threw off the old man to receive the new man. Being the Proverbs 31 woman is more than going to Church, screaming Jesus and quoting Scripture. It is a lifestyle from inside out, a dsciplined woman from her mouth to her behavior. I was recently at a funeral for a mean,, aggrivating absolutely disgusting person of a female and speaker after speaker described her as a Proverbs 31 woman. We must get real with ourselves so that we can be real with God and with our Mates. Any man worth his salt is not getting involved with games, drama and confusion. Tighten up so God can set you up and establish you. Most come to churches as new Members having endured life crushing events and the last thing they are seeking is more drama.

(4) The failure of Churches and /or Civic organisations to teach Family leadership skills to Black men AND the failure of Black men to take advantage of what training there is. If the selection of the variety of what men do come to a particular Church is "sub standard" there is no fault of a woman to decide to remain single...she can do bad all by herself. Why take on a man who is not focused?

(5) I believe that there are women willing to submit as the Bible teaches however the man must present a lifestyle, leadership qualities and determination of direction that she can submit to. In other words; men must be willing to make the required spiritual, personal and educational alterations to "step their game up" to a higher level of proficiency to demonstrate leadership in their own life. This then can give a serious female something to "work with" even if  the man is not of the same education or social background/breeding/education.

Men must bring more than good looks and sex to the table. Men must remember that a career woman, for example has her professional life that must be upheld and enhanced by the entry of her chosen mate. She must at least ---"marry even" if she is not "marrying up".

A woman must bring more to the table than sex and cooking.  After all, if you are bringing in children...to a focussed career oriented man---that is already somewhat of a problem that you are asking him to accept and assist you with.

 

(6) On the matter of teaching men to be Men of God & women to be Women of God---generally Black Churches are not interested in this type of training because Churches are more time than not "Clubs" not Training Centers for self improvement for men and women to learn how to be submissive to each other as they both are submissive to God. This is not always the fault of the Church because it is very coomon that members really desire to be left alone. "I got this" is the mindset and if serious sermons and classes are instituted many people flee to another location where their sensibilities can remain dormant and undisturbed. At other times, Churches seem to be more interested in "Feel Good" Sermons and getting people excited but not teaching about the discipline of God's Word and His Covenants....and vice verse: people want "Feel Good" sermons because when Pastors get to hard core teaching of principles...many people leave to go elsewhere as I have already mentioned.

 

(7) Issues of economics: many women are in debt and see a man as a source of income to further their lifestyles. Consequently..because many men come into the Church in some state of recovery (as the women are; by the way)...the women don't desire to select these men even though there is "quality of character" but not immediate financial benefit. This leads them (women) to desire men who are financially sound NOW but these men don't desire 2-3-or more children immediate upon marriage. The mindset of Women must change to recognize that quality men may not have finances now but in time they will....In other words choose quality over immediate possessions and achievements. When they see these men later in life and the man has achieved...THEN they desire to be with him but he is now (perhaps) with somebody else...

Many men have a dream or vision of a future reality they aspire to acheive and if the woman is about stuff now and not saving and investing for tomorrow then her economics are not compatible with a good man of vision, stability and fortune. There are many men that have battled out of poverty into wealth and that does not happen overnight and definitely won't happen if he is with a "high maintenance" female.

(8) Women with degrees and careers must overcome the psychology of "Marrying Down". Look at university enrollments...mostly women. Black men get caught up in whatever and many recover and go on to achieve great things..."marrying down" now to a man of character who is now focused and determined can lead to a man that achieves education and careers that makes them worthy. For example: today's Plumber is tomorrow's successful Plumbing Contractor. White Collar Women seem to have a problem with marrying Blue Collar Career Men.

(9) Most women see history and not potential. Men get caught up in problems and then get it together (1 in 6 has been to Jail/Prison...Drugs etc)...but many women focus on a man's past and "what are the people going to say about it" rather than how this man is strong enough to get it together and get back in the game and make a serious run at success and character and responsibility.

 

(10) Women choose to get involved with some man rather than ask God what is His choice for her....then accept His choice and work it for success.

 

(11) Stop sleeping with a man before you are married, if you won't wait why should he? I hear of so many disappointed women and a recurring theme is how long she cohabitated and never got married  and now there are children. Stop the babies and the pemarital sex. Okay, at least stop the babies. There is too much science out there for any woman to get pregnant. Birth control has been around for almost 50 years. Don't blame the man...you agreed to open your legs and do it...again and again and agin in many situations. You are responsible for your choices and the consequences. Nobody "Pops up pregnant". You agree to have sex and no birth control and with AIDS killing Black women faster than accidents, cancer, diabetes or heart attacks---why would you let any man be with you without condoms anyway?

(12) No sex, no babies and you are establishing very clearly that you are what you say you are: a Woman of God. If a man won't wait then clearly he was not the man for you. It is your Kingdom duty to remain in Covenant with God for Him to continue to establish you and keep you. Compromise about education and other factors in a relationship but never Kingdom principles. Any true man of God will wait to be married to you because that man is walking with God and is in Covenant with God. He is to be the spiritual head after marriage and if he cannot wait he is not being the spiritual head prior to marriage. However, women don't wait and so their are consequences...

(13) Stop waiting for some Bloke dripping with the Holy Spirit like honey. Ask God about everything including "Is this the man you have selected for me". He may not be dripping today....but next week......next year? Ask God about everything and He will answer. Then be obedient.

(14) Drop the baggage...especially forgive yourself. Women (and to some degree men) bring a lot of emotional baggage into new relationships. More about this in another entry. Stop hating men...because the man to be your husband is a man and you will automatically hate him. Change your associations If all you hang with are haters and you will hate.

(15) Learn from succesful marriages--even if the Wife is a Stripper. Hey, God spoke to Balaam using a Mule---so stop being spiritually proud. If a woman has a successful marriage she can teach you some stuff and maybe by your huminilty you can teach her some stuff about God..in exchange. Give it some thought. Oh, and I am in no way calling anybody an animal. So please, don't take my illustration out of context....:-). Nobody was more into the world than I was..and God is still working upon me. So, I am in no way casting judgement upon anybody. Let me dispell that notion

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We blame everybody and everything for our choices and the consequences...don't blame anybody unless you are part of the solution. Take rsponsibility for the consequences of the chuces and decisions that you have made. Forgive yourself and others that have hurt you. Move on.

Are there problems in the Churches---of course, however the Church is not holding anybody down....we make choices.

It is our choices that hold us down or raise us up. The reasons go on and on... It is not the Church...it is essentially the mindset of the people. As individuals we must get into Covenant with God and then walk the path that He has for us. 

We choose our own paths, make choices and decisions ---THEN we call on God to make it work or straighten it out. He says "If you will hearken to His voice and walk according to His ways" Deut 28 and "Those that are led by the Spirit are the children of God" Romans 8. We have the arrangement backwards and confused. That is not the fault of the Church but rather a consequence of the culmination of the sequence of choices we make according to our own mindset and it is written "Lean not on your own understanding. But in all your ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct your path" Book of Proverbs. Whoever blames the Church they need to get real, wake up and smell the coffee!

Be blessed; 

Rev. Richard Johnson, B.Sc.

(Copyright 2011)

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On the dismantling of your unconscious ‘personal mythology’ …… about God…… and yourself!

By newparadigmthinkers

Every human being, including Christians and unbelievers alike, are to a greater or lesser degree unconsciously trapped in a ‘personal mythology’ regarding God and themselves!

Myths are imaginary and unproved collective ideas, beliefs and fictitious stories, based on legends and tradition. These mostly untested concepts are invented to justify ourselves, and designed to explain and give meaning to the mysterious dimensions of life.
Most our ‘personal mythology’ consists of a mixed ‘fruit salad’ consisting of a intermingling and blending together into one mass of various ingredient

Who am I?

These consists of fear filled superstitions, fables, erroneous beliefs, personal subjective experience, cultural influence, denominational conjecture and religious dogma based on the Bible and the opinions of men etc. etc.
For instance, for most of us our inherited opinion is that Jesus Christ, the Son of God, had to come Adam’s world, into the mess Adam made, and attempt to build a faith bridge back to God!  A bridge we have to somehow find during our lifetime and successfully cross, or alternatively God will dump us into ‘hell’, to be tormented eternally!
The eternal fact is that Adam came into Christ’s world!
The eternal fact is that we were saved in Christ even before we fell in Adam!
Untwisting and unravelling our familiar and deeply held, and cherished misconceptions, in order to dig through to the bedrock of ‘truth’ or ‘reality’, that actually came through Jesus Christ is not easy and often most painful.
Yet, not unlike a Tiger caught in a fatal trap, we sometimes have to chew off our own leg, in order to rescue our very existence from life’s traps!
A good place to commence in exposing our ‘personal mythology’ is to get a clear perspective on and to begin to recognise the distinction between ‘Objective’ and ‘Subjective’ spiritual realities.
The following audio teaching’s could prove helpful.
‘The Objective and Subjective Spiritually Reality of the Gospel of Jesus Christ!’
http://www2.uhaveaudio.com/1291244607_32/mp3/g0/ql
Then to ask the question; “Who is Jesus Christ”, and what did the Triune God accomplished through Jesus for and on behalf mankind, and therefore of you personally”
‘Jesus Christ, the Master Key to unlocking the Mystery of the Bible.’
http://www2.uhaveaudio.com/1291234889_32/mp3/g0/ql
http://www2.uhaveaudio.com/1291927708_32/mp3/g0/ql
http://www2.uhaveaudio.com/1291931261_32/mp3/g0/ql
To ask and answer the vital question, “Who is God?”
‘The Mythology of God in the Mind of the Believer – Re-discovering the Heart of the Father’
http://www2.uhaveaudio.com/1291858093_32/mp3/g0/ql

About newparadigmthinkers

Pastor Andre Oosthuizen of South Africa 

” Transforming our Vision to the Apostolic Understanding of the Cosmic Nature and Universal Lordship of Jesus the Christ, and the Inclusion and Infusion of Humanity into the Love and Life of the Trinity by Challenging Redundant and Stagnant Traditional Religious Mindsets and Spiritual Blind Spots.”

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The above Information was written by Pastor Andre. The fact is that we are already contaminated with ideas and concepts that derive from family, friends church, ethnic and gender, nationality and so forth. The Kingdom of God is a diametrically oppossed sytem of thinking and operational construct from what we are used to working through. This is one reason for the "confusion" that ppl experince in the spiritual walk. You are attempting to walk a spiritual road with an earthly mindset. They are incongruent and so Most Folks attempt to wrap the Bible around their life instead of their life around the Bible.
   Rev. Richard Johnson, B.Sc.; Be blessed.

Christian Church in Ethiopia: Part One

The Introduction of the Christian Gospel to Ethiopia
33 - 350 A.D.

Christianity's earliest contact with Ethiopia dates back to Apostolic times and is heralded in the New Testament with the Baptism of the Ethiopian Eunuch by the Disciple Philip (Acts 8:25-40). It is reasonable to believe that Queen Candace herself, like the Eunuch, was a true believer in the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob; such is based on the fact that she had allowed her ‘chief financial minister' to go to Jerusalem for the Passover. That upon his return, the Eunuch shared with the Queen and others of the Royal House holds the news that God had fulfilled the promise of the Messiah, in the person of Jesus Christ. This much, can be considered a certainty and fits into the oral tradition of the Ethiopian people.

Ethiopians may also have been present in Jerusalem for the Feast of Pentecost, although there is no direct mention of Ethiopians in the Acts of the Apostles. St. John Chrysostom, in his Epiphany Homily, expressly mentions and maintains that Ethiopians were among those present at Pentecost when he writes that "the Ethiopians also understood."

Furthermore, holy tradition holds that the Apostle Saint Matthew preached the Good News of the Gospel in Ethiopia and Baptized the Ethiopian King, Aeglippos.

 Credence to this tradition is found in that Christianity was received in Ethiopia prior to the common given fourth century date as told by a passage from Origen who wrote: "The Holy Gospel is not said to have been preached to all the Ethiopians, especially to such as live beyond the river..." suggesting that the Good News of the Gospel did in fact reach Ethiopia long before the fourth century, though from Origen we note that not all, but some of Ethiopia had heard the Gospel.

During the Fourth Century however, Orthodox Christianity was expanded and officially established as Ethiopia's State Religion. Beginning in the Royal Court, the Christian faith gradually penetrated among the lives of the common people, where is played an integral role in all aspects of national life.

The "birth" of the Ethiopian Orthodox Tewahedo Church took place at a time when the Arian heresy was at its peak. Ethiopia's first Bishop, Abba Frumentius, was Consecrated to the Episcopate by the Patriarch of Alexandria, St. Athanasius, known as the "Column of Orthodoxy," who was a strong defender of the Nicene faith against Arianism.

The first Ecumenical Council held in 325 A.D. which condemned Arius as a heretic served to strengthen and define Ethiopian Orthodoxy. For this reason, St. Athanasius is highly venerated by the Ethiopian Orthodox Church. One of its Fourteen Eucharistic Prayers is attributed to St. Athanasius, another to the 318 Fathers of Nicaea. Thus, under the influence of Bishop Frumentius, St. Athanasius, and the 318 Fathers of the Council of Nicaea, Orthodox Christianity flourished in Ethiopia in what is considered to have been the country's wide-ranging Evangelization.

Source:            http://www.ninesaintsethiopianorthodoxmonastery.org/

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My Father & Mother worked for the Ethiopian Government under Emperor Haile Selassie from 1950-1953. As a Lad, I therefore grew up hearing wonderful stories of this East African Country, it's government and people. I have a copy of their contract in my possesion as well as many manuscrpits, paintings and sculptures from that Country and that era.

Ethiopia was in fact an Empire that encompassed quite a bit of the Eastern side of the African Continent  and parts of Saudi Arabia...at one point. It was located south of Egypt and Israel. For example, "the Queen of Sheba" was in fact the Queen of the Ethiopian Empire. It was she that visited King Solomon and returned to her capital city carrying his child....the first of a continuous genealogical bloodline from King David unbroken to Emperor Haile Selassie. Emperor Selassie was a blood cousin to Jesus Christ the Messiah. He was assinated in 1975 during a Military Coup de Dat. I was matriculating for my Bachelors Degree in Kingston, Jamaica at the time of his overthrow and death. Ethiopia is mentioned 37 times in Scripture from Book of Numbers to Book of Acts. Moses was married to an Ethiopian (Numbers 12:1)

This modern day Country was never colonized by the European Powers...ever. It was briefly occupied by the Italians during World War Two. The ancient manuscripts that were later translated as "The Book of Enoch" were located in this Country during the 1800's preserved meticulously by Ethiopian Church Monks. We are studying these texts at this moment.

The Ark of the Covenant is rumored to be there to this day guarded by Monks in a very secluded location. There are ancient Church Buildings in this country built below ground in such a fashion as to prevent attack from vandals or military forces.

Rev. Richard Johnson